It’s Romance Awareness Month and we’re dishing all month long about everything romance related. Today Kalli Langford is giving some tips on how to woo a woman so for you ladies, be sure to share this with your fella friends. ;-)
In Shakespeare’s, Henry IV, Suffolk, a skillful warrior, compares the beauty of Margaret, a woman he’s captured, to a “downy cygnet” and “the sun upon glassy streams.” And though his feelings for her are at first contradictory, confessing her beauty “confounds the tongue,” he continues his courtly language stating, “She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; she is woman, and therefore to be won.” With his continued compliments and talk of love, Suffolk successfully woos Margaret throughout the course of the play.
Three hundred years later, his quote still holds true, though in this world of shortened attention spans, smartphone obsession, and online personas, it’s harder to figure out a dude’s intensions. For example, if a guy comes up to a woman at a party or bar, how does she know if he is really interested in her or if he just wants to “chill?” And if he asks her out, is it a “date,” or does he just want to “kick it?”
Who knows, right? Well, guess what, guys? If you genuinely want to win a woman’s heart and become her BF, you’ll need to do some “wooin” instead of “kickin” and “chillin,” and in the process, put all of your attention on her instead of yourself.
Yep – in this age of equal opportunity and the feminist community, woman still want and need to be wooed and won over.
Here’s what men should do to woo and what women should look for:
- He should make the first move. You see each other from across the room. Your eyes lock. You smile. He smiles back. Now it’s up to him to make the initial contact by approaching you. If he doesn’t do so within the first few minutes, at that point, he’s either not really interested or he lacks confidence. In both cases, you don’t want him anyway.
- He should also open the door for you – the car door, the restaurant door, etc. If he does, he’s a gentleman, and he cares about impressing you. He should also offer his jacket when it’s cold and pull out your chair when you sit down. This demonstrates sweet courteousness.
- He should also give you sincere compliments. That’s a sign he’s been paying attention to you and what you say.
- He should NOT be checking his phone. If he does, it could mean he’s getting bored with you and your conversation, or he’s looking for an excuse to break away. Besides that, it’s rude. His focus should be on you.
- He should be happy – not moody. If he turns the date into a therapy session, I say run. You are there to relax and have fun, not hear about all of his troubles. It’s too early in the relationship for that.
- He should pay for your dates. If you suggest splitting the bill, he should say “no” during the wooing phase.
- He should keep his sexual desires down. Wooing a woman is not about having sex. He should be focused on your personality – not your body. He should want to get to know you by asking questions and carefully listening to your answers.
Well, that’s it — my top seven ways in which a man should woo a woman. In doing those things, a guy will make a girl feel special and unique, like she is the only woman in the world and a woman he cares about as a person and not a sex object.
-Kalli Lanford, author of Gamma Rift
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