Getting Ruthless…When You Have Kids

Ahh strip clubs. Sure they’re fun, exciting, full of adventure… But there’s something to be said about the fictional stripper. Take Roman from Ruthless by Gina L. Maxwell for example. Live, in-action, naked men ain’t got nothing on Roman.

Don’t believe me? Check out the Top 5 reasons a fictional stripper is so much better than the real thing…

1.Fictional strippers save you money.

via GIPHYForget stuffing dollar bills into that banana hammock…start stuffing them under your pillow. Save up for something just for you. A nice afternoon at the spa, that new release you can’t wait to get your hands on, a few series you want to stream that aren’t free (WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT by the way). If you happen to have kids, there’s also those days you need lunch money, candy gram money, money for the vending machine at those after school activities because you forgot to send your kid to school with a lunch. Seriously, dollar bills are a hot commodity in my house. Giving them to a naked dude just doesn’t rank high on the priorities.

2. You won’t come home smelling like some dude’s sweat.

In the words of Outkast, I prefer to stay “So fresh and so clean, clean.” The idea of the sweaty, greasy body of a complete stranger getting anywhere near mine brings on a bit of the ick factor. With Ronan, you get to skip the shower at the end of the night and go to bed all fresh and clean.

3. Fictional strippers make the car line so much better.

As a parent, the absolute WORST part of my day is picking the kids up at school. No it’s not that I don’t want to see my kids, it’s the dreaded car line. But Ronan? He makes it all better. I find my car-line zen with fictional strippers. Feel like backing your car into the front of the line? No problem. Want to just randomly get our of your car and hold everyone up so you can go talk to another parent you just saw a few hours ago? Have at it. Busy texting and can’t seem to PULL FORWARD? No worries, more time for me to enjoy my fictional stripper’s performance.

4. Fictional strippers know how to spice up your date night in.

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You will find a LOT of inspiration from the fictional male stripper. And letting your significant other play the lead is really hot. Every couple should enjoy a lap dance or ten from one another.

5. If you need a little visual aide to go along with your fictional stripper, Magic Mike is ready to help.

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Sometimes you need a little visual aide to go along with your reading material. The good news is Magic Mike is there for you when you need it. Too exhausted from a long day of adulting? No worries, flip on your favorite movie strippers and all of the creative juices will start flowing immediately.